DATING PURGATORY
Dedicated to the sister I never had Sue
Over the last couple years I have noticed a trend with many of the Conservative girls who send me messages or e-mails. It seems that many of you in the VR world are getting very frustrated at the slim pickings provided you in the line of guys out there.
Not wishing this to turn into a "Brokeback Mountain" moment for your Dr. of Dementia, I cannot place myself in your shoes to view guys as you might view them and this is also a good thing as I'm balance challenged and the thought of your 4" pumps or worse yet my darling Panda's 7" "Do me now!" pumps would kill me. Love you Panda, my favorite adult fantasy.
So I will rely on the girls opinions and statement s to form my VR opinion of the guys you girls seem to be constantly complaining about.
To start with let me acknowledge that guys and girls not only want totally different things from a relationship but view the other in very different ways. While it is pointless to debate the origin of our species as you all have the right to believe as you will, it was not always like that and in the past natural selection contributed greatly to what traits assisted their beings to survive and thus to pass on those helpful or essential traits.
The short version is males instinctively and subconsciously seek fertile females to mate with in order to pass their genes on to the next generation. In present day context that means youth, symmetry (symmetrical faces are recognized as more pleasing to infants), and overall physical health. Thus young, symmetrical and healthy girls are attractive to guys. (Side bar; boy do we end up paying for our hard wired preferences!)
Conversely, females instinctively and subconsciously seek provider males to mate with in order to assure someone is there to help protect her and her children and provided for them, so she too can pass her genes on to the next generation. In present day context that means good providers, overall physical strength, prowess and health. Thus confident, successful, responsible and healthy guys are attractive to girls.
Role Perception and Cultural Emulation
Our current anti-culture glorifies; youth, irresponsibility, promiscuity, spontaneity of actions and creates such a fabulous lack of awareness in many that their perception of what they watch on TV, read in a magazine or see online is in any way normal rational or productive ways to behave.
This immediately causes a problem for girls with Conservative views who are often thrust into the "rat race" and forced to stand on their own as a provider or fail in a setting more common for a guy. For while living the life of a stereotypic male (provider) they are seeking similar traits in the men they are dating.
In their mind they expect the same high standards of effort, commitment, pride and responsibility that they may hold themselves too in the business world, but often the guys they find do not share those values in themselves and worse are looking for girls who for lack of a better description are less demanding on their personal charasstics..
Many guys are just as susceptible to the constant bombardment of anti-cultural garbage that is heaped upon them from TV, entertainment world, as well as online sources, so it should be no wonder many guys start emulating the actions and behaviors of their entertainment icons. The facts are humans take longer to fully develop than any other primate, and in many cases some of us are not fully developed and truly functional until we are well into our 20s.
Given that slower rate of higher neurological functioning in many males, it is easy to imagine one with a less than fully functioning mind who lacks moral convictions listening to enough Rap lyrics dripping with hate, festering with rage, projectile vomiting derogatory demeaning statements toward girls , well over time the mind may accept this as normal and the listener will adjust their behaviors to reflect what they now believe to be normal.
Metrosexual Male Syndrome
Some girls have complained of guys spending too much time acting like girls, obsessed with their hair, their looks, their fashion, basically too into themselves.
Self-esteem issues are not just a female problem and guys can suffer their own
version of the new tribute to gutlessness game show "I Want To Be Popular".
It may have nothing to do with them wishing to appear feminine, it may be more of a by-product of watching the pretty boys on TV get the girls. Sex sells in advertising and they will subconsciously draw the correlation to perfect hair, flawless skin, buffed nails and fashion conscious cloths just to get next to a girl who they assume will respond like the girls on TV do.
It is a amusing paradox that while they make themselves into what they believe will attract girls, to most conservative girls they will appear gay, a view that may also be shared by other guys looking for pretty guys who are gay. A good rule of thumb is when other guys start buying you drinks; you may have spent too much on the hair highlights, tanning sessions, wax treatments, manicure & pedicure.
Shrinking Target Market
Compounding the problem is there are so few real men out there to satisfy the needs of these conservative minded girls some are beginning to think they will never find a compatible mate. The reason so many girls are thinking about other girls may simply be a result of them having to adjust to the fact that the guys around them are useless and they would rather not be alone all the time.
I kid you not single guys reading this, take note. I have been told by several of the girls I know they are talking a break from the weenie gallery because the guys they have met lately are so pathetic and lame they are not worth the time. "So many little boys, but no men", was the comment of one of these fabulous finds just waiting for the right man.
Now these are some really attractive, articulate, fun, responsible and ready to settle down conservative girls I know and I am stunned to learn they are not able to find a worthy mate. You guys do not know what you are missing out there!
I have heard horrific recounts of dates gone bad, miserable misrepresentations by some who seemed OK after several shared comments or messages, so many disappointments at meeting a guy who was more like their girlfriends than what they needed in a mate, it is really starting to stress many of you out.
Correctly Defining The Target
I do not wish to digress into the fact that girls in general are emotion driven beings and are more likely to base opinions on feelings than guys in general, but this is part of the problem. It might help if you had an impassionate assessment of your actual wants to see on paper what it is you really want out of a guy.
When searching for anything you must first define your target so you can then determine what you want and what you will accept to get what you want.
For example was I to target a new laptop:
I want the cheapest laptop
I want anything that will download my songs
I want the ability to restore setting after virus damage
I want it to be like all my friends laptops
I want it to be red or blue
With these targets any low cost Dell PC laptop will suite the needs listed.
You will be able to share so much in common with your friends who have the same type you will constantly have new problems to discuss and you can chant "Death to Bill Gates!" in harmony.
It will attract viruses like a Haitian prostitute, intravenous needle sharing drug user. You will definitely get your moneys worth from your restore feature as it will crash as often as a Kennedy after "last call" at a strip club.
Now was I to redefine my target for a new laptop:
I want the most stabile OS possible in a laptop
I want the best large screen display possible
I want the most secure, virus free, data protective software.
I want the most intuitive, easy to use OS possible
I never want to lose all my data and records again
I want the fastest way to run Windows or VISTA on a laptop
The good news is I will be happiest with a MacBook Pro 17" Apple.
The bad news is it will cost me dearly at about $3,000.00 to get what I want. That means I will have to either adjust my wants down a bit to match my ability to pay or hold out and work harder to earn enough to afford exactly what I want.
Now if we were to put this concept in perspective then you will have something like this from some of the girls:
I want a guy who is hot
I want a guy with washboard abs and a tight ass
I want a guy who likes to have fun
I want a guy who knows how to party
The above priorities will get you a boy, not a man and this may be most of the problem. Many girls I speak to or communicate with are looking for boys, and expecting them to have the same qualities as a man. Boys are physically in the prime of their life, their bodies are lean and athletic and in their sexual peak. It is one of life's cruelties that girls mature much faster than guys the same age. It is a result of Nature that guys' minds and emotional development have not kept up with their physical development, as many will share what are childlike personality traits.
Selfishness
Irresponsibility
Dishonesty
Promiscuity
Narcissistic
Immaturity
Were you to change your priorities it might help you at least weed out what you know you are not interested in and give you a slim chance to find what a conservative girl who is looking for a serious relationship needs, a man:
I want a guy who is honest with me
I want a guy with high moral values
I want a successful wage earner to provide for our children and me
I want a guy who values my contributions
With this set of wants you have targeted what is needed for a serious relationship to have a chance to succeed. Unfortunately with those requirements you have just eliminated about 90% of those with the hardware to fit into your software.
Effects of Morally Corrupt Entertainment Industry
My dear Jersey Girl, made the comment that girls are the problem today, as they are just too damn easy. I believe in general the reason for so many problems in our society today are directly related to young girls and their opinions, tolerance and support of:
Child Abuse
Promiscuous underage sex
Late Term Abortion
Drug Abuse & Substance Addiction
Unreported Domestic Violence
Sure guys share the blame on this one also, but like a hapless puppy just dying to please its owner, some guys' actions and behaviors are more a result of their female's expectations then the girls may realize. Girls, if you continue to devalue yourself, surround yourself with media, MTV, Rap music, Cosmos tabloid fecal matter, then demonstrate to all just how shallow and pathetic you can be by placing yourself on "HOT or NOT" boards seeking approval and value from the most worthless in our society, then do not be surprised when your little boy toys start treating you just like the crack ho your songs tell them to.
Second only to spirituality, there is no more stabilizing effect on a guy than the girl he loves. I have seen girlfriends cause amazing changes on the men who loved them and it is a proven fact that many of the most successful men in history had the support and assistance of a great woman pushing them to greatness.
Girls Make The Rules
Rush has written, "In a civil society women make the rules", meaning when laws are followed it is the women who regulate the interaction between the sexes. Women are the ones, who determine how a date will end, who will get lucky, who will not and us guys are usually along for the ride.
That is why so many Beta males (losers in the gene pool) use liquor, drugs, and date-rape medications to bypass the women's natural control of the situation. 3 drops of the right substance in your drink and you will not only do anything they want you to do but you will not even remember doing it until you are told or shown you did it. Personally I would rather visit France, and you know how much I admire the French, than have to trick a woman who does not wish to have sex with me.
This is why clubs are free for girls and guys pay through the nose, because in these situations they are more able to get what they want as it is an environment that undermines the girls natural control over the relationship when they are drunk. Free entry into the club, the music and people dancing, free drinks in some cases on the house, free drinks from any guy looking to have you later on in the night. It is a way for lesser men to get what they want.
It does not help that there is an overt attempt in our current music (Hip-hop, pop & Rap) telling girls they are nothing more than just f**k bunnies, party favors and useless disposable pleasure items. Girls are inundated with MTV, Cosmo, Raps thug culture and every other media tool telling them; spread your legs, f**k everyone at the party and maybe they will like you. It is nauseating to even consider the shallowness of esteem, the lack of pride and self-worth that is encouraged by this attack on girls by our current culture.
In summary, there is little anyone can do to assist you on your quest for the perfect mate. It is said that hard work and tireless effort make the goal that much worthwhile to us, so in this way consider your time and effort an investment into your future happiness with the one you choose.
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